Editor’s note: Below is the first installment of a new feature in the B&R that is aimed to help pastors and church leaders get answers to hard questions.
Dear Leader Board,
I’ve been a pastor long enough to know that not everyone agrees with every decision. But lately, it feels different. It’s not open opposition but more conversations that I’m part of.
I don’t want to dismiss wisdom out of defensiveness, but I also don’t want to let uncertainty paralyze me. How can I tell if this is normal resistance that comes with leadership, or whether it’s something I need to listen to more closely?
Sincerely,
Watching the Room
Dear Watching the Room,
Josh Franks
What you’re experiencing is normal, and it’s not something you should ignore. The tension you’re feeling isn’t a failure of leadership. It’s resistance in a different form. Not all opposition is open, and most pastors were never taught how to tell the difference.
Here’s what’s happening beneath the surface. Resistance threatens a pastor’s internal narrative. If I’m called, faithful, prayerful, and clear, then why are people pushing back? So, the mind looks for relief. One path says: Ignore it. This is the right thing to do. The other says: Freeze. What if this is God speaking and I’m about to mess everything up?
Both reactions are self-protective. One protects authority. The other protects approval. The real question is: What does this resistance tell me about my people, pace, or structure?
When people won’t say the hard thing directly, they’ll say it sideways to each other. This doesn’t automatically mean you’re wrong. It means the system is talking. The mistake is assuming every signal is either rebellion or revelation. Most of the time, it’s neither. It’s information.
The goal is not to eliminate resistance. The goal is to read it correctly.
Sometimes resistance means slow down. Sometimes it means clarify. Sometimes it means you’re early. Sometimes it means you’re alone. And sometimes (this part matters) it means you’re exactly where leadership requires you to be.
Not all resistance is a referendum on your leadership. Your calling settles who you are. Your discernment shapes what you do.
Leadership rarely gives you perfect signals. It gives you pressure, patterns, and responsibility. Learn to listen without surrendering your judgment. Clarity doesn’t come from eliminating resistance. It comes from learning how to read it while staying in the chair.
Josh Franks
TBMB Ministry Specialist
