Carolyn Tomlin
I remember when our children were young, and they wanted to give family and friends gifts at Christmas. With tears in her eyes our daughter said, “But I have no money. I can’t buy anything!” It was her wise grandmother who spoke up and said, “Honey, you have so much. The greatest gift is to share your life with others.”
Showing children and youth how to share their presence with others, they learn that giving of themselves, showing kindness, and love is much more important than a store-bought present.
When the Christ Child was born in a manger in Bethlehem, he gave the world a gift for all eternity. It was everlasting. It was the gift of His presence. In this teachable moment, they will be reminded that Jesus came as a baby to save us from our sins — thus this was the greatest gift of all time (Luke 2).
How to involve adults in giving the gift of your presence
Start a new tradition in your family or church. This giving of yourself can carry over from children to adults.
There are many retired couples and individuals in your church who realize that buying gifts for everyone is not only exhausting, but it’s often something that is the wrong size or they already have the item. Instead, try this idea. Give the gift of your presence — your time! They will remember this special gift long after the holiday is over.
The giving and receiving of Christmas gifts this holiday season is high on everyone’s ‘to-do’ list. And their adult children and grandchildren wonder what they should give both sets of parents. After all, they have everything they need at this stage in life.
“After talking it over with our parents, we decided to give something different this year,” says their adult son. “Instead of the beautifully wrapped gifts under the tree, we are giving them ‘time’ with us and their two grandsons. Their gift will be a weekend vacation with us and the grandchildren that includes either a hobby, interest, or a place they have always wanted to visit. It’s their choice. We just take care of all the arrangements and make it happen.”
As a parent or grandparent, how do you initiate this kind of giving from the grands or your adult children? You’ve appreciated those presents from years past, the time it took to shop for the perfect gift, and something chosen especially with you in mind. Many grandparents have downsized to smaller living quarters and space in the home is limited for extras. However, all you really want, or need, is time to spend with your family. To be with those you love!
Included also, are adults who might give the gift of experiences—not things — to their older parents. There are many advantages to giving experiences, especially if you can share this time with your loved ones. Experiences make us happy. They last longer — long after the attractive package is unwrapped under the tree.
Changing a long-held custom of gift exchange, requires thought. Pray about this family decision and ask God to help you approach it in the best way.
Could you drop hints by laying out a travel brochure of a place you have always wanted to visit? How about a discussion of an upcoming play in a nearby city? Is an excursion train trip something on your bucket list?
If you play golf, or another sport, mention your favorite player or team that will be playing this coming spring. Would you enjoy seeing your grandchildren learn to ski?
Pray about your decision in making a new tradition or custom with your family. Just because you have ‘always done it this way’ doesn’t mean you can’t make changes.
However, focus on keeping your family united. Changes may be difficult. I Thessalonians 5:16-18 says, “Be joyful always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”
Stay-at-home experiences
You can still give the gift of your presence without leaving home. Some of the best vacation days consist of day trips, sleeping at home, and time to enjoy older parents and grandparents.
- A simple backyard picnic, prepared by little hands, can be planned quickly and be one of the best gifts you’ll ever receive.
- Gather the clan together to make gifts for church members who are in nursing homes or assisted living centers.
- Adopt a homeless pet or volunteer to walk a dog at the local shelter each week.
- Participate in a Bible study class at your church.
- Learn about your family history by going to www.ancestry.com. Set aside a weekend to get together and compare stories, and share old photos.
- Put together a booklet of favorite family recipes. Invite the relatives to your home or a community center for a potluck meal where they bring a favorite dish passed down from long-ago relatives.
There are many ways to “Giving the Gift of Your Presence” this Christmas. The most important thing is to spend time with those you love. Keep this scripture in mind from Acts 20:35, “It is more blessed to give than to receive.” B&R — Tomlin, of Jackson, writes for the Christian market. She is a member of Woodland Baptist Church, Brownsville, and teaches the Jackson Christian Writers Fellowship.
